I consistently underestimate the amount of time and mental energy it takes to do a redesign. This is because it is usually around 1am when it occurs to me, and the part of my brain that deals with things like decision-making and impluse control conks out around 11. (This is also the time when I tend to place orders for new shoes.) I go “BORED NOW. Mess with code?” and then realize I a) have taken the theme apart beyond all repair and b) will be required to sleep at some point long before I have finished the site. Oh and c) did not make a backup of the original theme so must put up maintenance splash page. WHICH IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE ALL THIS TIME, in case you weren’t following. (Note: it is not WordPress’ fault that the maintenance plugin got disabled. I needed a screenshot of the plugin-disabling process for the book** and I didn’t want to disable all the plugins on the companion site because I had JUST gotten them looking the way I wanted them to. So I used this site for the screenshot because it’s not like I was doing anything ELSE with it. Then I forgot to re-enable the plugins. That is my epic tale. It’s a lot to take in. It is all right if you need a moment to process.

Anyway, so. Enough about the redesign! Unless you want to tell me how awesome it looks, in which case, carry on.

*(I did this, in part, because I realized I’d disabled the maintenance screen plugin at some point so the site was showing up completely unstyled – horrid blue links and all. It’s like it was naked.)

**What? Book? YES. The new edition of the WordPress Visual QuickStart Guide is IN PROGRESS and will hit shelves IN OCTOBER and you can PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY NOW if you are into that sort of thing. And have I mentioned how lovely you look when you pre-order things?

Which is a long-winded way of saying the site will look wonky for a while.

Also, it’s very stylish and I think I will wear it during the day as an accessory.

(I kid.)

I was super excited to try it out since I wake up every morning feeling like I got run over by a truck. Sleep is supposed to be restful, right? I mean, I’m not a morning person under the best of circumstances, but between Not So’s insomnia and the kid leaping into bed with me every morning to snuggle (have I mentioned just how many elbows and knees he has?) I feel like I’m trying to sleep on an amusement park ride.

Anyway, so. I’ve tried tracking my sleep using things like YawnLog, but it’s hard to be objective about things like sleep. I’m pretty sure, for example, that the nights when I’m like I totally didn’t sleep AT ALL I probably did sleep, some. Maybe.

But the WakeMate will answer the question once and for all.

(Have I mentioned how much I love gadgets?)

I set up the app on my iPhone, which was pretty easy.

There was a certain amount of turning things on and off (and having to go to a specific page on the WakeMate site for instructions, since the little card that came with the device was somewhat exceptionally vague – probably because there are different instructions for each gadget you can sync it with) but once I got it all charged up and discovered on my phone’s Bluetooth I was ready to go.

Then I just had to, you know, sleep.

Here’s where I’d start talking about how my night went, but it would be a lot easier for you to just, you know, look at the chart:

Yes. In fact, I slept like crap. Sure, I was in bed for 8 hours and change, but it took me 23 minutes to fall asleep! And I woke up 24 times in the night! No wonder I feel like a zombie.

The device itself was remarkably unobtrusive. I barely noticed the wristband while I slept and there were no incidents of me yanking it off and throwing it across the room (which was a thing that happened to my retainer in high school, about which I apparently harbored extreme ill will).

I can’t wait to find out how I do tonight.

*Do I seriously have to mention every time I post about a product that I don’t do sponsored posts? Seriously. People do not give me things. And if they did, trust me, I would state that upfront.

Looks like a cute little purse, right? BUT THEN:

AND ALSO:

*Happy Owl Studio is not in any way sponsoring this post. Although if they wanted to send me swag, I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. Hint.

I’m beginning to think raising a techie kid is as controversial as raising him atheist. Which we are also doing.

Wanna talk about how we co-slept?

(Of course I immediately entered every contest I could think of, just in case I was temporarily, what do you call it, lucky.)

The iPod itself came all the way from Canada. Did you know that they put French directions in Canadian iPods?

I’m seriously in love with it. Seriously. And unlike the Android, there are TONS of great kid apps that Ellison has decided mean it should belong to him. Not a chance, kid. (Except that he’s so cute all curled up on the couch with his little tech gadget, just like mommy and daddy.)

So, yes. I am a winner. I win things.

*Not actually a fact.

So yes, there’s that. And also, I will.

So, whatev, apparently my big midlife crisis involves an appreciation for hops. This is encouraging, if only because it means I can go out to a bar and not end up either a) bored, b) trashed or c) spending the next 24 hours puking my guts out and swearing off all forms of alcohol including cough syrup and vanilla extract. IN FACT, the last time I had a drink that was not a beer I got such righteous alcohol poisoning that I had to cancel my flight home the next day. And you know how many drinks I had? ONE AND A HALF.

I do not make these things up.

*Seriously, she still looks exactly like she did in high school, and in high school she was what one would objectively call a knockout. Of course this does not make me feel like an elderly bag lady, why do you ask?

We’re dealing with the Terrible Threes, not only with the kid but also with the business. Both are growing at an alarming rate. Both demand huge amounts of time and attention. (Only one regularly elbows me in the sternum, however.)

I’m beginning to think that finding a balance is code for something else, like Discovering Valium or Hiring a Nanny. It doesn’t help that the last couple of months one or both of us has either been sick, out of town, or working through the night in order to catch up on the work that being sick or out of town interrupted. And since Not So’s job comes with more exciting deadlines than mine, guess who nobly “works” from home with the kid? Yes, because a clinging preschooler is an excellent business partner, let me tell you.

I’m behind. I’m stressed out. And it was 107 degrees in Portland today.

Oy.