So, whatev, apparently my big midlife crisis involves an appreciation for hops. This is encouraging, if only because it means I can go out to a bar and not end up either a) bored, b) trashed or c) spending the next 24 hours puking my guts out and swearing off all forms of alcohol including cough syrup and vanilla extract. IN FACT, the last time I had a drink that was not a beer I got such righteous alcohol poisoning that I had to cancel my flight home the next day. And you know how many drinks I had? ONE AND A HALF.

I do not make these things up.

*Seriously, she still looks exactly like she did in high school, and in high school she was what one would objectively call a knockout. Of course this does not make me feel like an elderly bag lady, why do you ask?

Oh, I’ve been busy, and by “busy” I mean, of course, “compulsively signing up for every new service I run across like the addict I am.” It’s kind of funny, because in real life I’m not exactly a social butterfly, but online? Oh, online.

We’ve got, of course, the Facebook and the MySpace (which, despite its recent spate of updates, still makes me feel dirty), the Virb and the Plaxo and the Pownce. There’s the obligatory Tumblr, the lesser-known (but somewhat cooler) Swurl, Twitter and Jaiku for snippets of thought (updated, of course, through Ping.fm) and things like BrightKite, which I never use. But then there’s bookmarking (Ma.gnolia, and, coming in a distant second, the newly revamped Delicious) and event planning (Upcoming and Sonic Living to find stuff to do, Pingg for invites, because I hate evite with the heat of a thousand suns) and calendar syncing with the newly-free Calgoo. I keep my books on Shelfari and my crochet projects on Ravelry. There’s even a place called Mon.thly.info where you can chart your menstrual cycle online (…don’t worry, it’s not a “social” site & that link just brings you to the front page…although the idea with connecting with other women on my same cycle = SO VERY FUNNY TO ME).

And that’s just the online stuff. Don’t get me started – seriously, don’t – on the apps I’ve downloaded in the last week.

The point of this post is I’m back, people. Developers, lock up your betas: Cranky Mama is on the loose.

And hey, if any of you are on any of those, feel free to friend me.